First Call

  So about a month ago, we were at church and I got a call. Nothing can describe the knot in my throat that came when my phone rang and the name on my phone was the lady who places fosters in homes. I knew as soon as I seen her name she was calling to ask us to take a child. You could only imagine my surprise when I was asked to take TWO. After speaking to Kyle and her assuring us it would only be one night, we said yes. (Many times foster parents are told one or two nights and it rarely is true.) Anyways, we said yes. We said yes to two boys, age 6 and 4. However, it turned out the youngest was not 4...he was 3. I told the lady to give me 10 mins to get someone to take my place at church and then I would be on my way to get them. 
  The scariest feeling I've ever had was the 7 mile drive from my house to DHR that night. I was scared and nervous and a tad bit of me was excited. These were the first children we said yes to since M. I didn't know anything about them except they were boys and their ages. It was kind of like a blind date. Except if it didn't work out there was no giving out the wrong number-we were stuck. At least for the night. It really terrified me. I didn't know how M would feel about this, not to mention Kyle was a wreck too.
  When I got to DHR my face probably told my fears because a foster mom pro, who was there to get siblings of the boys, assured me I would be okay. After picking up these two boys, who had literally nothing with them but the clothes on their back, I became so broken. There I was, a grown woman, scared of two little kids. These two kids were probably scared 10 times the amount I was. Everything they had known had been stripped away. They were having to stay with complete strangers and being separated from their sisters. I felt awful. I began to pray for them on the way home as I was answering their questions the best I could. (Honestly, I didn't know the answers to their questions. They told me answers to my questions by asking theirs.) 
  After we got home they ate, showered, and played a little bit with M. Bedtime came and they laid down. Just when I thought I had it under control and could breathe easy, BAM. I won't give details but it wasn't an easy night and I often pray the small one has a better time adjusting than he did with me.
  I learned that night how hard fostering can truly be, but I also learned how rewarding. We only had those sweet boys for one night. But God placed them in our home that one night for a reason. I may not ever know the reason but what I do know is that those boys were safe, clean, warm, and most importantly, prayed for. 
  I literally have thought about those two boys and their sisters almost everyday since they've left. Such heartache at such a young age. When I think about the littlest one and the hard time he had, I get a little teary eyed because he was about the same age as my M was when he first came in to foster care. I'm thankful for every home M has been in and I'm thankful everyday his road lead him to our home. 

Perfect design

  
  God isn't a God of time and age doesn't determine the plan He has for your life. When Kyle and I were 14, He made our paths cross and put His plan in our heart to marry young so He could use our lives for His glory.  At the same time, He was creating M knowing his path would lead to us and knowing he would be ours.
  One of my favorite bible verses has always been Jeremiah 1:5, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations." It wasn't until today when I really felt this verse. I always knew "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you..." I never really payed much attention to the latter part. The first part has been proven to us with gaining M into our life, but today on the way home God showed me the last part in a conversation with M. 
  (Tear alert-grab some tissues) M often tells me He can't wait to meet Jesus and asks many questions about Him. Today we had a lengthy convo about Jesus. He asked "How do you get Jesus to speak to you." I said "You pray and ask him to speak to you. You may have to pray every day until He does but one day He will." He said "Oh okay." A couple minutes later he said "Jesus just spoke to me." I said "He did?!" and he said "Yeah! He told me I was going to be like daddy when I get big and be a good Christian and be just like him and do what he does at church."
   Want to know why this makes me incredibly happy? Several reasons, but two mainly. One-Kyle is man of God and it's obvious to our child. Two-because when God is your joy, He will give you the desire of your heart! (Psalm 37:4) He even gives you the desires of your heart that you develop when you're a child.  I'm proof of that. 
   Funny little story: When I was younger I always said "I'm going to be married at 18 and have kids at 20." I didn't know the child I had at 20 wouldn't be mine but He gave me what I wanted. Also, when I was a child I played school all the time. My teacher name that I was called and even made my family call me was "Mrs. Robinson."
  Isn't that awesome!? God gave me the desires of my heart. He took my little saying and used them in my life to prove He listens and cares. God blesses you for loving and living your life for Him. I can't wait to see the life God has set apart for M. It would not surprise me to see M leading worship, leading youth, or even pastoring a church one day. God has to have great plans for Him. God was so sovereign to rescue M from depravity so that one day He may save him from depravity.
  It amazes me to know God knows each one us individually and has a plan for each one of our lives. "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb." Psalm 139:13 Every day we are reminded of this when we see M. God knew where his life would lead, and he wanted it to be a perfect fit so in the womb of another woman, He created him...just for us.

-Makayla

The Looks

  One of my favorite...and sometimes least favorite things about having a seven year old is the looks people give. We receive all kinds of them. Most of the looks start after we are called mom and dad. These are some of the obvious.
•Look 1: "They don't look old enough to have a seven year old."
•Look 2: "They must be older than they look."
•Look 3: "They had to have that kid when they were 14."
•Look 4: "That's a young family."
•Look 5: "They must be siblings."
  Honestly, I have a love/hate relationship with these looks. I love the looks that make people question because it gives me a chance to explain what led us to foster/adoption. It gives me a window to share about what God is doing in our lives. I love the looks because it's a reminder to me of how this is totally a God thing. When people don't understand or can't rationalize in their head "why or what" God tends to receive more glory.
  I also love the looks because it humors me. It humors me to watch people torment themselves trying to guess the age we are now or the age we were when we had him. It humors me because people get themselves in a tiz because they don't know what is going on.
  But on some days, it doesn't humor me and I don't love those looks. The looks don't humor me on a day that starts with forgetting his backpack and having to turn around, then stressing at work, then getting home to find the meat you planed on cooking still frozen and having to get back out to go get something for dinner which makes the bedtime routine start a little later.

  On a day like this, the last thing I want to do is explain why I'm 20 and have a seven year old. On a day like this, I want to blurt out "It's really none of your concern.", "I'm 31!" or "I had him when I was 13. We are living off of your tax dollars and I don't have a job." I always end up saying the nice one...and as soon as I do, the bad day kind of slips away and I'm reminded of how blessed I am. I also gain some relief in telling them so they don't have to worry themselves to death.

  Some people are more than "lookers." We have had several people brave enough to actually ask us how old we are. We haven't had anyone ask rudely so I have grown a respect for these people. They are usually the ones who respond with "That is so awesome!"
  The looks and questions are something we knew we would get and for the most part, they are kind of fun. And now that it's been about two months, we hardly notice. And when we do..we just smile. :)

-Makayla

This is M posing like a manikin in the mall. 

Walking by Faith

  I know there are many people who have followed us through this process and have shared our emotions with us. From being nervous as we started, anxious when it was almost time, and excited for us when M arrived. I know there are many people who love reading my posts and love seeing our family develop. There are so many people who have supported us through this and pray for us daily. For you, we are very thankful.

  However, just like I know there are people who understand, I know there are people who don't. Some people don't understand how we operate our lives off of faith. Some people don't understand how someone can walk so blindly and expect God to tell you where to go. Some people have faith in Jesus and still do not understand our story. To you, I hope our story can show you how radical God can change your life when you allow Him to have complete control. I also ask you to pray that you may be able to walk by faith. 2 Corinthians 5:7 "For we walk by faith, not by sight."

-This post is for you and I'm going to start from the beginning.-
  
  Kyle and I have been together over six years. From the beginning of our relationship we shared our heart with each other. One thing that was always heavy on our heart was children with no home and loving the ones people have tossed aside. We always said after we were married a couple of years we wanted to take needy children in our home. We also have always wanted to start our family with adoption. Adoption is something we have always known we were called to do. We just didn't know when.
  When we decided to foster, AFTER MUCH PRAYER AND TIME, we didn't go into this wanting to adopt and start our family. However, if God led us to adoption we were okay with that. We knew fostering could lead to adoption because many cases do, but it wasn't our intent. One reason it wasn't our intent was because we expected to receive a child straight from their birth family. Our intent if we received a child from birth family was to do everything in our power to help them reunite.
  However, from the time we heard M's story (about two weeks before our class ended) I began praying for him. Not that he would become ours, but that God would give him a forever home because he was already available for adoption.
 

  I SAY ALL OF THIS BECAUSE I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WE DIDN'T GO INTO THIS PLANNING ON ADOPTING RIGHT OFF THE BAT. WE WENT INTO THIS WILLING TO GO WHERE GOD LEAD.

  When we were asked about taking M, we did it under one circumstance. We didn't want to tell him we were going to be his adoption home. We said we were open for adoption and would allow it to lead to that but we didn't want to be a false hope. We told them as far as he knew this was a temporary foster home.
  We were asked about him on a Thursday. Since we were going out of town, we planned on getting him Saturday. Thursday and Friday we learned all about him. We seen pictures and we talked to the foster mom who had him. God placed everything in order for us. God made it clear we were doing the right thing.
  We were told M would attach quickly. What we didn't expect was how quickly we would attach. We were attached far before we met M. We loved M before we laid eyes on him. We went to bed thinking about him, woke up during the night thinking about him, and woke up thinking about him. Our hearts were in constant prayer for him and ourselves.
  God made it obvious to Kyle and I that His plan for M was to be with us. He made it clear through the peace He gave us and the way EVERYTHING fell into place. This whole process just shows when you trust God and allow Him to lead, He gives you more than you ever expected. It also shows His ways are not our ways but they are always best.
 
-Makayla 

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9 ESV)

M drew a picture of "our family."

Christmas Blessing

  Merry Christmas to us! This was by far the most fun Christmas Kyle and I have had. Christmas is such a fun and exciting time but to see it through your child's eyes is simply amazing.
  Our Christmas festivities started the Sunday before Christmas with our church musical in the morning and then we celebrated with my mother in laws side of the family in the evening.
  Monday was a long day at work knowing Christmas was only 3 days away! Christmas Eve, Kyle and I both worked until lunch and then celebrated ALL day with my family. We had lunch and watched my mom get engaged. We came home and rested and then went back for "brinner." (Breakfast for Dinner) We also had some karaoke and games then came home.
  After we did gifts Christmas morning, we went to Kyle's parents house. We exchanged gifts and spent time with them and then went to Kyle's dad's side of the family. We had a wonderful meal and such a fun little game of Dirty Santa. We were so blessed through the whole day. M got so many nice things and we were so thankful!
   By far the highlight of our day was spending the morning watching the "magic of Christmas" through M's eyes.  This was Kyle's first time to ever be Santa and he did a great job! After M went to bed, Kyle put out Santa gifts and stuffed our stockings! It was so fun to watch Kyle get excited about being Santa! He even left a letter!
  After going through what Santa left he opened our gifts. The clothes weren't a huge hit but he was very grateful for everything. His favorite gift was Angry Bird Tele-pods and his new iPad mini! Our favorite gift was the one that told him we were going to Hawaii in two months! He was happy then but now he is so excited!
  This Christmas has been so great and we are so blessed. Everyday I am just in awe at God's plan unfolding in our life. I am so amazed by the blessings God has given me. I have a Godly husband who loves me and gives me a new reason everyday to love him. And now we have been blessed with such a sweet boy that one day we can call our own.
  One thing that amazes me is how God knew we needed M. So many people have said "He is so blessed to have y'all" or "He is so blessed to have parents like y'all" and I hope he is but honestly, we are blessed to have him. God knew we needed a child who was already up for adoption who we could fall in love with. I think deep down straight foster care would have ended up being harder for me than I first thought. M may have needed a home and a forever family and I know God sent him to us for that but God knew we needed him. M has changed our lives so much but all of the changes have been so easy. It feels like we have had him forever.
  Having M during Christmas has been one of the best gifts. God truly sent him to us at the perfect time. We are just so excited to have M in our lives and he made Christmas such a blast!

-Makayla

Believing in Santa

Kyle and I have always said that our kids really wouldn't do the Santa thing. We would teach them that Santa is a fairy tale and allow them to have "Santa gifts" at Christmas but they would always know Santa wasn't a man who came down the chimney while you were sleeping and brought gifts. He would know about the old St. Nick and the history of Santa but not believe in him or elves.

  This is for two reasons. One being we wanted the only focus of Christmas to be about Jesus. Two being I don't want a child who thinks Santa brought him a ton of gifts. I want them to be grateful and know that mom and dad had to work hard to buy their gifts. 

  However, things have changed because M came to us believing in Santa. And saying he simply believes in Santa would be an understatement. M is consumed with the idea of Santa and his elves. I'm not gonna lie, the magnitude of how much he belived in Santa bothered me a little bit at first. A part of me wanted to just tell him Santa wasn't real, deal with tears and move on...but I'm not cold hearted and the last thing I want to do is break our M's heart. I also didn't want to make moms mad when my kid went to school spreading the news Santa didn't bring the gifts. 

  One thing M talked about a lot was the elf on the shelf. He loved this thing and from the way he talked, the only time he had one was when one visited his class at school. We decided to buy one. I wish we had a video of when he first saw this elf. He was ecstatic. I have to admit, moving him around at night while M is sleeping and doing creative things if fun. It's really fun to see M get into it. It also helps waking him up in the mornings. 

  We have found a good balance with having Santa and also teaching Christmas is about Christ. We talk about Jesus being why we celebrate Christmas and Santa is one way we do celebrate. Also, Kyle and I both believed in Santa and we turned out just fine. 

  Having M has taught me one major thing about Christmas. He has taught me just because you do the Santa thing doesn't mean you've forgotten the meaning of Christmas. It's fun seeing the magic of Christmas through a child's eyes. 

  We are so excited for Christmas morning and can't wait to start new traditions as a family. I'm so thankful God brought M into our lives and He did it at the perfect time. 

-Makayla

 

Thanksgiving!

  We had a wonderful Thanksgiving! We had so much to be thankful for! Of course this year we really had a lot to be thankful for since God brought M into our lives. This Thanksgiving we had two big shin-digs to attend. The first one was Kyle's side and then the Saturday after turkey day we had my side. 20 people at each one. We were so excited because this was the first time many of our family met M! After they met him, I became even more thankful for our families. 

  It was such a blessing to see both of our families wrap M up with love. Both of our families have been very supportive with Kyle and I through this process, but the way they surrounded M and showed him what family meant made us very thankful. In two days, M met great grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins for the first time!

  I'm so thankful for God placing M with us. He gave us the gift of being parents and gave M the gift of having a home and a loving family. I know without a doubt all of this is working for His glory.

Going to bed Thanksgiving night, we asked M what he was thankful for. This was his list.

•God creating the world

•his Toys

•Jesus dying on the cross

•his new dogs

•his new parents.