A Sign of Hope

 Today has been an emotional day for me. Every other Tuesday we have a visit with Baby E's birth mom but this is the first day the thought of their visit hurt my heart. I guess it hurt because we are drawing closer to the end of her time to complete her case plan, we have no idea what she has completed, and if he does go back to her it could be soon. Everyone who starts fostering knows their is a possibility of reunification and that is always the state's first goal but it doesn't make the hurt less.

  For us, he's ours and to him we are his, but to the legal system, he belongs to a woman he doesn't know.

  We haven't had any hint as to what his future with us holds until today. As my heart ached on the way to the visit, I prayed for a hint as to where we may be at. My heart was torn because I don't want her to fail but Baby E needs to remain with us to have his needs met. He's come such a long way since he's been with us.

  When I got to the office I sent Kyle a text that said:

"I was thinking and praying on the way here and the church at where I turn to come to DCFS sign said "Pray. Believe. Receive." I've been praying but apart of me hasn't been believing. I have to trust E is going to be ours. If it comes to be He's not, God is still God but I believe he will be ours."

  We went in at the office to find out that mom decided not to show, for the third time in two months. I'm thankful Baby E doesn't realize when this happens. While we were there the social worker wanted to speak with me about where everything was. I can't share many details but let me say God is so good. 10 minutes after I prayed for God to just give me a little hope, He gave me hope and then some. Nothing is ever certain until a judge says so, but we do have reason to believe Baby E will be ours and we are filled with joy.

  Although our hearts have so much joy, there is also much sadness. If and when the moment comes where Baby E is ours, another woman will be losing something. A day where we will gain a son, another mom and dad will be losing one.

  So as we move forward in hopes of Baby E being ours, please pray for his birth family. We are overjoyed at the thought of him being ours but sadden to know it means loss for someone else.